As a vintage collector and lover of vintage fashion, I don’t necessarily think “out of date” is bad. Fashion is cyclical and eventually every style comes back into fashion. As a personal style coach who prioritizes unique personal style over passing trends, I reject blanket statements proclaiming a style or item of clothing as “in” or “out”, or “good” or “bad.” Personal style is so much deeper than that.
But when we default to styles that we wore during formative times in our lives, it’s worth asking: What kind of energy does this outfit hold for me? Does that energy still serve me?
Every millennial knows this familiar formula: leggings, heels, and a long “going out” top. It’s usually one of the first looks I deconstruct with my clients because it often holds so much emotional baggage within its stretchy fibers.
I remember this outfit vividly. I was a sophomore at the Hartt School of Music, living in a “shotgun style” attic apartment with my best friend Kyle. Inspired by the apartment’s long hallway and our favorite show America’s Next Top Model, we hosted a themed runway party and dressed in our most “high fashion” looks. I’m not sure where we were getting our definition of “high fashion”, but I do remember that this entire ensemble was purchased at Forever 21 with a bra from Victoria Secret that had enough padding in it to cushion a two story fall.
I have to smile at that younger me. I have so much compassion for her, and I’m so glad to have evolved from that version of myself.
Back then, I was still figuring out who I was. I was in a dysfunctional relationship with my high school boyfriend (who I’d marry four years later and divorce five years after that.) My friends were worried about the way he treated me, and I spent endless energy finessing social situations to avoid arguments or embarrassment. On top of that, I was a young opera singer navigating a demanding conservatory schedule while struggling with ADHD that wouldn’t be diagnosed until my late 30s. I was insecure about my body, my voice, my friendships, my place in the world…
Is that the energy I want to bring into my life now? Absolutely not. Mark my words, this style will eventually come back into style, and I will likely not be participating. I’ve already been there and I don’t wish to go back.
In the work I do with my 1:1 clients, we explore the stories behind their wardrobe choices, honor their past, and intentionally curate a wardrobe that reflects who they are now.
So the next time you reach for an old outfit formula from your past, pause. Ask yourself: Does this reflect who I am today and who I want to be?